Page 20 - PartA

Counselling Skills

When the client has ‘told the story’, to use Egan’s phrase, the task for the counsellor
is to summarise the main points and choose a suitable beginning. Look at the
following example.

Example: The use of paraphrasing

The client has, in a roundabout way, indicated that they do not want to go on holiday
with friends and this is causing problems with their partner.

The counsellor paraphrases as follows:

‘Do correct me if I am wrong, but you seem to be saying that you do not want to go
on holiday with the friends that you normally go away with because you are no longer
relaxed in their company. This is causing a problem with your partner as you can’t talk
about it to them.’

Key Fact

Paraphrasing should be concise and accurate.

7. Reflecting

Reflecting is a skill that helps the client to feel understood. Here, the counsellor
reflects back to the client their feelings in order that they may identify and clarify them.
Reflecting is like holding up a mirror to the client so that they see themselves and their
feelings more clearly.

Reflecting is done by:

• Listening to the client closely

• Observing non-verbal behaviour

• Identifying the feeling in a word and being aware of the intensity of
that word

• Reflecting this back to the client.

18