Page 37 - Part A

Counselling Skills

The possible impact of a helping relationship ending

When a helping relationship ends, a range of emotions may be felt – particularly if the
termination is premature for some reason. The client may have difficulty in adjusting to
the loss of the relationship and this, in turn, can be upsetting for the helper.

The impact on the client

As the termination approaches, the client may:

• Become apathetic – making comments such as, ‘What’s the sense of
carrying on if it’s going to end in a few weeks.’

• Feel angry – at losing a source of support that they have come to rely on

• Feel a sense of separation and loss – particularly if they have felt very
close to the helper and that only they can understand them and help them
• Regress – in the hope that the sessions will be continued

• Feel anxious – not knowing what the future will hold.

The impact on the helper

At the termination of a helping relationship, and particularly if the client has displayed
any of the above emotions, there can be an impact on the helper. The helper may feel:

• Impotent and inadequate – not having done enough to help

• Angry – with a system that only allows a limited period of time

• Lacking in confidence – about having the skills and knowledge to help

• Failure – that they haven’t succeeded to the extent that they wanted to.

The ending of a helping relationship can therefore have an impact on both parties.
It is important to remember that all qualified counsellors should have access to
supervision throughout their work with their clients. Any issues around endings, or
indeed anything that impacted on the client relationship should be addressed. If a
counsellor felt any impact on the relationship ending, they would be referred back to
their own personal therapist to discuss why they felt this way.

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