Page 13 - Part A
P. 13
Counselling Skills
By learning to recognise when you are feeling sympathy, it is easier to distinguish
this from empathy.
By noting how you respond with sympathy, you will become more aware of how
empathy differs. For example, a response such as, ‘I know exactly how you feel’, is
showing sympathy not empathy. Empathetic understanding, on the other hand, is
demonstrated by a counsellor accurately reflecting the client’s feelings and
checking that they are correct. For example:
• ‘You say that you feel angry about...’
• ‘Could you give me a specific example of when it happens?’
• ‘What you seem to be saying is...’
• ‘Am I hearing you correctly...?’
4. Active listening
Active listening is another important core counselling skill that can be practised in
ordinary situations to enhance your communication skills.
Q. What is ‘active listening’?
A. Active listening is ‘listening for meaning’.
Active listening means orientating your whole attention towards the speaker or client
so that you ‘hear’ everything that they say. This includes messages that they are
transmitting with their body language and tone of voice.
To enable this orientation towards the client, Egan developed the following non-verbal
listening process that you can remember by the acronym S.O.L.E.R. This skill is
particularly important at the beginning of the counselling process, but should be
practised in all sessions until it becomes second nature to the counsellor.
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